Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Defeat

One would think that after 11 cycles of failure, the feeling of defeat wouldn't be so present.  But it is.  It's still there.  Everytime I look at that blank test.  Everytime I realize that I cannot give my husband what he so badly wants, what we so badly want!  Everytime I think that I may never be a mom.

I was very hopeful about this cycle, but my hopes were suddenly crushed when I looked at my thermometer this morning.  A huge temp drop.  So here I sit, wating for my period to make its appearance.

At this point, I don't know what to do.  I am so heartbroken. 

Of course I know how lucky I am to have a husband that loves me for me.  I have a beautiful fur baby who loves me unconditionally (and loves to comfort me while I cry).  A great house.  A great job.  A great life.  Except in this department. 

Maybe I need to turn my way of thinking around (easier said than done).  I need to be happy with me!  I think maybe a cycle off before moving to IUI will do me good!

2 comments:

About Mrs. G said...

Wish I could give you a big hug! I say you spoil yourself and go on a trip with the hubby and relax before your IUI.

Erin said...

Hey girl-pleeeease email me at livinginyellow@gmail.com. I am so excited for what you posted on my blog today and want to chat with you more about it, and also send you some love. Can't wait to hear from you!
-E