Monday, May 9, 2011

Smiling through Sorrow

I have to admit that yesterday was not the easiest day that I have been through to date.  To be completely honest, it was pretty difficult to get through.  To think that I should have been celebrated this year, just twists the knife that has been inbedded in me since last fall.  Had the miscarriage not happened, I would be due in just one short month.  I would have gotten to celebrate with everyone else.  I would have gotten Mother's Day cards from everyone.  It just kills me everytime I think about it.

I even got an apology, can you believe it? ...Here's how it went down....

Me: Happy Mother's Day!
OP: Thanks, you too....oh wait, sorry. (did you really just take it back?)
Me:  I am a mother....I have a child, he just happens to be hairy and drools alot!
OP: Yeah, you are....sorry I said that.

What the heck?

Now that it's over, I can just hope and pray that I will not have to survive next Mother's Day without a child.


About Mrs. G said...

Hi friend. I was thinking about you all day yesterday. I know you don't have a child in your arms yet but you felt the loss of a child and to me that is as Mother as is gets. I know you'll be holding a sweet baby next year. Thank for the note. You have such a big heart.

About Mrs. G said...

*it gets

Mrs. J said...

Thanks Amanda! D doesn't really understand it. He says that I shouldn't live in the past, and he is probably right, but it doesn't make it any easier to know what could have been. I have faith that I will be holding my sweet baby next Mother's Day!