Monday, December 31, 2012

Weekend recap.

Some one once told me that a Monday morning post was the easiest post in the world.  All you have to do is recap your weekend with lots of pictures.  I kind of think she may be right.

Here goes.

The weekend started out with a visit from some pretty cool peeps.  Those peeps being a kick ass big bro and a sweet little girl that I like to call Avery, because that is her name and all.  We don't get to see them as much as we'd like and there is really no excuse other than we suck are too busy, since they only live a couple of hours away.  Let's change that pronto.  There was lots of wine had by all me and Chris.  You can just call us the purple teeth twins.

During their visit, Avery gave Owen a talking to.  Conversations between a 5 year old and a 10 month old should never be revealed.

The good news is that he listens well.  He is now pulling up on everything he can get his hands on.  And....YES, that is a Snuggie... it's ok to be a little bit jealous.  It is camoflauge for goodness sake.

Sunday brought me a day of puppy fun.  Burton has been a little neglected lazy lately, so I thought a good trip to the doggie park was in order.  So we loaded up and met our friend Fed for some serious slobbery fun.

Just look at that tongue...tell me that's not one happy pup!

As the afternoon progressed, it was time to get our game face on as the Redskins were about to whoop up on the Cowgirls.  Or so we hoped.  As we sent my Chris and Avery packing, we first shared in a little family friendly trash talking.

Sibling Rivalry at its finest.

By the time the game started, we were full of crockpot chili and downing brews. 
Look, even Bud Light knows who to route for.

As we settled in to watch a good Cowboys and Indians battle, we paused for a family snapshot.  After all, Redskins football should always be a family affair.

There you have it.....a weekend recap post.  Easy Peasy.  By the way....just in case you live under a rock or something, or haven't heard the chanting.....HTTR!!!!, someone won their division.....hint hint, it wasn't the Cowboys.

What did you do this weekend?

Saturday, December 29, 2012

New year, New me.

The end of December is near and you know what that means....time for those pesky resolutions.   You know, those ideals you set for yourself that supposedly produce a new "you".  Well, just like everyone else, I set some up for myself each and every year and each and every year, they seem to get lost in the shuffle.  This year, I am not setting any particular goals for myself.  I'm not setting myself up for failure or dissapointment.  I am simply opening up to become a new "me".  

This last year has been both crazy and amazing.  I wouldn't change it for the world,  but I seem to have lost myself and what makes ME happy.  So with that, I recognize the truth and know that I cannot continue on this path if I want to lead a life of raw bliss with my little family of 4 (including the choco pup, of course).

For 2013 I am focusing on ME.  Now of course, I would not neglect my duties as a wife and a mother.  They are first and foremost my top priority.  With that said though, you know that old saying  "If momma aint happy, aint nobody happy"?  Well, that's my plan.  I am going to make momma happy.

Here are a few things that I jotted down that I would like to accomplish in 2013.  I wouldn't call them resolutions.  Let's call them ideals.  They are a starting off point.

1. Regain more self esteem: Focus on what makes me feel good.  Go out, get a haircut, buy new  makeup, get a manicure.  Anything that will help me to feel good about myself.

2. Less clutter: Clean up.  Simplify.

3. More patience:  Pretty self explainitory

4. Become more focused: Mark things off of the list.  Accomplish even the little things.

5. Dress the part:  Get dressed each and every day.  Being put together makes you feel like a million bucks.  See #1.  Win Win.

6. Enjoy lifes little moments:  Don't let them pass you by.  Chances are they will become a distant memory. Make sure to cherish it so that you can look back on it fondly.

7. LET IT GO:  Don't sweat the small stuff.  At the end of the day, was it really that important?

8. Smile, Smile, Smile.  Be Happy!

Now that that is clear, I am hoping to get my blog up and running again.  Not for anything more than to document my journey.  My accomplishments and failures.  I hope you will follow me along in this new year.  Cheer me on and lift me up.  As I will you.


Monday, July 23, 2012

iPhone blogging

Hmmmmm.... Never thought about blogging from my phone, but here I am strolling along on the exercise bike giving not only my legs a good shape up, but my fingers too. Maybe I should do this more.... Time is passing very quickly. Should I disclaimer Auto correct???

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Maybe Tomorrow.

You know that old saying " why put off til tomorrow what you can do today?", well...I struggle with this one ALOT!  I am constantly making a lists and goals for myself that never get done and I make myself feel better by claiming that it will get done tomorrow.  9 times out of 10, these tasks and goals never happen.  Can we say slacker?

Well today I want to talk about my slackiness ~ yes, I made that word up~ so that I can hopefully be held accountable and get to it, plan to work out.  My excuse?  I had a C-Section.  Now, this is not the greatest excuse since I have been feeling great since about week 3 (post op), but it is so hard to get back into a work out routine once one falls to the wayside.  Why is that?

For the last 2 weeks I have been claiming that I am going to get back on the wagon and get my jiggly ass in shape.  And for the last 2 weeks, I have been saying....."maybe tomorrow".  I just can't seem to make myself get motivated to sweat!  I want the body, but I don't want to do the work to get it. 

So, today: April 19, 2012, I will claim for the last time "maybe tomorrow"....  I will get in some exercise tomorrow No. MATTER. WHAT.!  NO. MORE. EXCUSES.!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

One Month


I cannot believe that you are already six weeks old!  How is that even possible?  Time is flying  by and everyday brings a new adventure. 

You are getting so big....  you have gained almost 3 lbs since leaving the hospital, now weighing 10 lbs 10 oz. and are almost 1.5 inches taller.  You are a tall baby and have already grown out of your Newborn sized clothes.  Your little toes want to push right through the fabric.

We have started using cloth diapers on you and oh my gosh....your butt is the cutest thing ever in them!  Ok, so you look like you have some junk in your trunk, but one day you will understand that mommy and daddy made a really great decision in choosing to diaper you this way.  PPsssttt : here's a little secret for you....mommy ordered you a camo diaper so that you can match daddy on hunting days.  It's spring gobbler, ya know?  Isn't that awesome?

You have started to smile in the past few days and I just can't get enough of that sweet little face!  They are few and far between right now, but pretty soon you will be throwing them at everyone.  I can't wait for the day when I walk in to pick you up from daycare and you smile at me.  MELT. MY. HEART.

You are doing pretty well sleeping at night.  Typically you go down around 9ish and only wake up once to feed around 2:30 or 3:00.  You stay up for about an hour and you are out again until around 6ish.  I have to say, although I miss having a full nights sleep, we are blessed that you are doing this well at 6 weeks.  Now that we are back at work, daddy and I take turns on who gets up with you.

Sweet baby boy, you are the best thing that has ever happened to your daddy and I.  We are so in love and can't even remember what life was like without you.  It's weird how that happens. 

Saturday, March 31, 2012

You know that you are a new parent....

......when your idea of a Friday or Saturday night is sitting at home enjoying the company of your husband and children.  There have been so many weekends that have gone by in the past where Darren and I have felt the need to do something, anything.... but during my pregnancy and since Owen has joined our family, we have found comfort and joy in just hanging around the house doing nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  No plans.  No rushing.  No commitments. Just pure contentment within each other.

Now that's what I call a weekend!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Baby Lesson #1

Newborn poop is EXPLOSIVE! 

While changing Owen's diaper today, we heard a "pop" and the next thing we knew, everything on his changing table was covered in mustardy yellow seedy (sorry to be so graphic) breast milk poop! 

Now, I had heard that this could happen, but I guess I thought it was just a myth. 

I mean, how can something so little have so much force behind it?

Owen 1 - Parents 0

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

My fight with food.

Before I was pregnant and while I was carrying my little one, I never had a thought that I would not breastfeed my child.  It was a beautiful and natural thing and I would do what was best for my baby.  It was supposed to be this amazing thing that created a bond between mother and child that nothing else could.

Little did I know, how DIFFICULT it would be.  This is not the movies people, this is real life!  And real life does not always present itself in the way you formed it in your mind.  Unfortunately, I am not having the experience with breast feeding that I envisioned.  It is sad and I am guilty about it....but I am so ready to give up on it.

From day one, Owen has never really taken to my boob.  First of all, everytime I have tried to put him to my breast, he freaks out and starts inconsolably crying.  I try to get him latched on, but he is not having it.  He screams and wails...pulling his head back and there is nothing that is going to get him to calm down and eat.  Secondly, I guess I have funny shaped nipples and have to use a nipple shield to get him to latch on.  If (a big if) and when he actually does latch on, he clamps down so hard that I am screaming in pain! 

It has become such a stressful situation that he doesn't want to do it, I don't want to do it, and so on.  I know that "breast is best", but I would kind of like to keep my nipples and can't deal with the stress of him screaming and me crying.  It is definetely not a bonding time.

So, we decided that I would just pump.  That way Owen would still be getting my milk.  Win Win, right?  No...I am still not happy.  Now I am not trying to be a spoiled brat about this, but I HATE pumping.  I have to sit in my bedroom with suction cups stuck to my boobs sucking the hell out of my nipples all while Darren gets to feed Owen out of a bottle, change his diapers, love on him, BOND!  How is it fair that he gets to bond, and I don't?

This whole experience has been horrible!  It is not at all what I thought it would be.  It's really pretty sad.  No one ever told me that it would be easy....I guess I just assumed.  Most women that it!  They wouldn't have it any other way.  I just don't feel it.  I don't have that instinct. 

I don't want my nipples sucked on.
I don't want them to hurt anymore.
I don't want to have leaky boobs.
I don't want to miss out on time with my child.

Please tell me that I am not a horrible mother.  Please tell me that a Happy Mom = a Happy Baby.  Please tell me that I am not a failure for switching to formula (I haven't made the switch yet).

I am tired of this fight with food.

He's here.

On Monday March 5th at 11:04 pm, we welcomed our sweet baby boy into the world!  And in his mother's type A fashion, he came right on his due date.  It was the most amazing day that I have ever experienced and I already can't imagine my life without him.

Here's how it went down.  I will make it short, sweet, and to the point, so that you can get to the good stuff....a picture of my little man.

Thursday:  I went in to be checked because I thought I was leaking fluid.  Still not dilated at all.  No puncture to my amniotic sac.  Dr. thought it may just be mucous and that I may lose my plug soon.

Friday: Dr. was right, I woke up to the loss of my plug.  It was not at all what I suspected it would look like, but I will spare you the details.  I also continued to "leak", but trusted my docs diagnosis.

Saturday:  I was out shopping and felt a "bubble", sort of that "oh shit, I just started my period in my pants" feeling.  I went to the bathroom and sure enough, there was a very large wet spot in my underwear.  At this point, I was hopeful, but wasn't convinced that it was my water based off of what the dr. said.  I figured that I would let it go and see what happens.  After all everyone told me that when it breaks, you will know it!

Sunday:  I woke up to some cramping.  It was pretty painful, but I figured that things were just starting to happen.  I was still leaking in my underwear and decided that I should probably call Labor & Delivery to see what they thought.  Of course they can't diagnose me over the phone so they asked me to come in.  We got to the hospital and they hooked me up to the monitors and sure enough I was contracting every 4-6 minutes.  My doc checked me and wouldn't you know it......I was still completely closed!  Talk about frustrated!  I was however about 75-80% effaced.  She felt certain that I was in early labor and thought that I may progress from there.  She thought I would be more comfortable laboring at home, so they discharged me.

I spent the day doing everything that I could, to bring on labor.  Around 6:30 or 7:00, my cramps turned into light contractions and I told Darren to sleep in the guest room so that I didn't keep him up all night.  I went to bed around 10:30 and at 12:30 I was awoken by a SEVERE contraction that took place not only in my lower uterus, but in the small of my back.  It was horrible!  These contractions continued through the rest of the night coming at intervals of about 5-7 minutes.

Monday:  Darren woke up to get ready for work and I told him what was going on.  By this time, the pain was so intense that everytime a contraction would come, I would get ill.  I knew that it was time.  I called Labor and Delivery again and told them what was happening and they told me to come right in.  This was around 7am.

Here's where things got interesting.  The doctor came in around 8:00 and guess what.....still 0....are you freakin' kidding me!!!!  All of this pain and I am still not dilated at all?  Apparently I had some scar tissue on my cervix caused by a Leep procedure that I had done a few years ago and it was preventing my cervix from opening.  Why had no one told me about this possibility before now?  Anywho....the doc needed to get in there and open it up.  Holy Crap!!!  Ouch!!  I thought I would die!!  He got me on an epi right away and they started pitocin.

And the waiting began.  Slowly, I began to dilate and by slowly, I mean that by 10:30 pm I was still only at almost 6 cm.  The epi was wearing off and I had to get another dose.  The doctor finally made the decision that my best bet was a C-section.  I was labeled as "failure to progress".  At that point, I had been in labor for 16 hours, not including the painful night before, and I was ready to meet my little boy!

Next thing I knew, I was on the operating table ready for surgery.  It all happened so fast!  Really!  The decision was made at 10:30 and he was born at 11:04. 

At 11:04 pm, I heard the sweet sound of my baby's cry!  I lost it!  I had never felt such a flood of emotion before.  What an amazing feeling!  Our child that we had prayed for and waited so long for was finally here and healthy.  Everything was perfect with the world.

OK, so I get that that wasn't the shortest story, but  I didn't know how to shorten it.  Sorry!

So without further adieu, here is Owen Michael.  8 lbs 5 oz, 20.5 in long.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

It happened...

Everyone said that it would.  I thought that I had gotten through this pregancy without the dreaded act, but as it appears, I am no exception to the rule.

I Peed Myself. 

Yes, that's right folks, I am 32 years old and I peed in my pants yesterday.  Kind of sounds like step one of an AA meeting, doesn't it?

I really thought that it wouldn't happen to me, but boy was I wrong.  The funny thing is....  I kind of think it's funny and am not ashamed at all.  I am classifying it as a "gift" from my little boy. 

Note to Owen:  Mommy is ok with it happening once....let's not make it an every day occurrence....k thanks!

Monday, January 30, 2012


I know, I's been forever since I have posted.  I know that you guys have been on pins and needles waiting for an update.  So sorry...  hahaha

Today is a very special day!  It's 35/35 day!  What's that mean, you ask?  Well as of today, I am 35 weeks with 35 days left to go.  Can you believe it?  I sure can't!  This little boy will be here before I know it and I am absolutely ecstatic about it!  I CAN'T WAIT....did you hear that?

So....Happy 35/35 to me!!  Come on Owen....we are waiting on you.....  :)

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Why I blog

People often ask me why I blog?  Most of the time, I use the response that I want my out of town friends and relatives to be able to keep up with my life.  And to be completely honest, most of the time, I have no clue if anyone ever reads this compliation of randomness.

But then I am immediately reminded why it is all worth while.  Since I started this blog, I have gotten emails from a few people whom I don't even know, that are going through difficult times in child rearing.  They are inspired by my story and contact me to share their story with me.

The entire process of trying to make a baby is draining in itself and for someone who has difficulty, it is devasting and emotionally consuming.  It is the stories of success that can help to get you through the day, the week, the next "cycle".  And if my silly little blog can help even one person realize that life can change in an instant, that God can will provide in his own time, or that they are not alone in this emotional rollercoaster then every entry is completely worth it to me.

I learned alot on my journey and like most who have experienced difficulty or a loss, I feel that it is my duty to be there for someone that may be in the same boat. 

So please, if there is anyone out there reading my blog that just needs someone to talk to, some one to vent to, some one to relate with, email me.

Much Love.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Yes Please....

Ya know how at the beginning of every year, you get that "I'm gonna be more organized this year" bug?  Well, I am no exception.  In fact, I don't need the New Year to have that excuse.  I love organizing tools!  There's just something about the thought of something helping you to get through your day more easily that just gives me a huge grin. 
I love it!

So, let me introduce to you....this little gem!  It's the 2012 Erin Condren Life Planner. 
Oh. My. Gosh. 
I must have this!!! 

But at FIFTY bucks a pop....I am just not really sure that I can justify it!  What do you think?  Should I splurge?

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Welcome Twenty Twelve.

OK, so I know that I am a couple of days late, but I have been catching up on some blogs today and have found that everyone is blogging about a new year, a new start, what they want to do differently this year, how their lives will change because it's a new year....blah blah blah....

I am not typically one to make the obligatory New Year's resolution(s).....after all, if you quit doing it in February, you failed...and who wants to fail?  I know that this sounds very pessemistic, but it's true, right???

But....this year is different.  With so much about to change in my life (ahem....Baby Owen), maybe I should rethink my strategy of living and stick with what works and toss out what doesn't???  Hmmm....something to think about.  So, while I think about what I want to "work on" in 2012, I will leave you with this little ditty that I think fits perfectly for everyday use.....

Sneak Peek

Darren and I had some maternity pictures done this past weekend (at 31 weeks) and had a blast!  I haven't gotten to see all of the finished product, but here are a few shots that have tided me over.  I love them!